ON FRIDAY, WE outlined exactly why women are the worst at music festivals.
But we couldn’t leave the lads off the hook, could we?
Read and weep, lads.
1. Peeing anywhere and everywhere
The queues for the men’s loos are never as bad as the queue for the women’s loos. But that doesn’t stop lads from taking it upon themselves to mark their territory whenever and wherever they please.
2. Trying to act the big man and having someone sit on their shoulders
Go to any festival and you will see guys offering to let their mates sit on their shoulders in a misguided effort to demonstrate how manly they are. More often than not, it ends in neck cramps and/or falling.
Don’t bite off more than you can chew, lads.
3. Bringing an acoustic guitar
And treating the entire campsite to a rendition of No Diggity.
Can you not?
4. Seemingly making a point of standing in front of people who are a foot smaller than you
“Sure, you might be 6’2 and I may be 5’2, but you’re not blocking my view. No way.”
*quietly seethes*
5. Instigating a moshpit in the middle of an otherwise peaceful part of the crowd
WE JUST WANT TO CHILL :(
6. And thinking moshing entails falling about the place and banging into people
See our above point about just wanting to chill.
7. Wearing these hats
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*shivers*
8. And these vests that just scream “BANTER”
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No.
Just no.
Did we miss anything? Let us know in the comments.
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